Pilates

My friend, Lucy, and I recently bought a Groupon for a pilates studio. But with Lucy in Wyoming over the weekend and me with nothing to do, I decided to roll solo to the first class.

Upon entering the studio I was instantly greeted by the instructor, a Eastern European woman whose accent was as thick as her red hair.

"Hellou, vot iz yourrr name?" she asked me.

She gave me a waiver to complete, reviewed it carefully, and then interrogated me with what I thought were random questions.  

Pilates Instructor: Yous have osteoporosis?
Me: No......I mean, not that I'm aware of.
Pilates Instructor: Yous take vitamins? 
Me: No.
Pilates: Yous need vitamins.
Me: Okay.

But then again, I've never done pilates. Perhaps those aren't random questions. Maybe vitamin regimens and osteoporosis are big to-do in the pilates community? Like Lulu Lemon is to the yoga world? I'm just not sure.

Then class started. It was just me, the instructor, and another girl, who claimed to be a novice as well. I have to say - I loved pilates! And I was surprised by how much we worked our entire bodies, not just our abs.  

The only problem, of course, was the teacher's accent. As much as I loved listening to it, I couldn't always comprehend what she was saying. For example, one time she told me to "grab vi black nut".

Grab the black nut? I thought to myself. There's no way that's what she said. I turned around on my machine, looking to her for further instruction.

"Grab vi black nut! GRAB VI BLACK NUT!" she yelled.

But guess what guys? That's really what she said. I know because she got off her machine to come point it out to me. "Vi black nut! Vi black nut!" she pointed.

So I grabbed the black nut and finished my workout.


Any of you fellow pilates fans?