2.26.2014

Top Ten Things To Do For A Tantruming Child


Macy and I went to Barnes and Noble this week and it was there that she threw her very first tantrum. Fortunately I am an expert parent and knew precisely how to handle it. I've decided to impart my wisdom to you fellow parents and readers alike. Please enjoy.
 
*Disclaimer. Please remember that I am not a doctor and these tactics have not been approved by the FDA. This is simply what I do for my precious child.
 
 
TOP TEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS A TANTRUM
(AT THE BOOKSTORE)
 

1. Take pictures so you can write about it on your blog.

2. Start buying books online.

3. Stop reading altogether. The movie is always better anyway.

4. Walk away from your screaming child and join the horrified senior citizens that patronize a Florida Barnes and Noble. Whisper to them, "kids these days."

5.  Talk to your about Child Emancipation. Have literature ready to fire in your purse and present at time of tantrum. Remind your child that Drew Barrymore did it at 15 and that its never too early.

6. Buy a book about child tantrums. You are at the bookstore.

7. Purchase the book that seems to have started the tantrum in the first place even if "Liberace: An American Boy" seems like an odd choice for a 1 year old.

8. Suggest to Barnes and Noble that they facilitate a (free) daycare in their store, similar to Lifetime Fitness or Ikea.

9. Call your husband and tell him about the situation in the bitchiest way possible. This is his fault after all.

10. Rapidly exit bookstore without getting opportunity to purchase anything. Consider stealing books instead.

 
P.S. Speaking of books, The Suburban Bitches are giving away a free copy of mine today. Click here to check it out.


Who else has some helpful tantrum tips? Please share! It takes a village, does it not?
 
 
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9 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha been there, done that. The latest thing for Kennedy is that she doesn't want to hold my hand when we walk in the parking lot to the car. FULL BLOWN TANTRUM. Why??????

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  3. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE! AMEN SISTA

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  4. We usually smile & think, glad we're past that stage! I always feel bad for the parent having to deal with the tantrum, especially when their husband isn't there! There is no winning, is there? When older & they can talk, the threat of "going to the washroom" in a restaurant, doesn't work. Just saying, when you have the child's arm & walking them to the washroom & they start yelling, "I don't have to go to the washroom. Mommy, Nooooooo. I don't want to go to the washroom. Owwww! You're nails are hurting me Mom!" I have no answers for you :) Kids won every time!

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  5. I say get on the floor and throw one with her! It's an immediate tantrum stopper. Well at least on her end. She'll get very curious as to your actions very quickly!

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  6. Oh and yes it's always dad's fault.

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