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On The Wings of Love

The window in which the bird set up shop.
Bird's point of entry.

It was Friday afternoon and an absolutely gorgeous day in Houston. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the bright blue sky. I had the porch doors open accordingly. I was on my computer in the office, typing away, as I heard the living room blinds flapping in the wind. I walked into my living room to realize two things;
1.       We don’t have blinds
2.       There was a F-ING BIRD in my F-ING house
I’d like to tell you that I was brave…..I was not.
I knew I couldn’t call Danny because he was in the midst of a HUGE meeting he’d been talking about all week.  (I still called him….but no answer.)  
I proceeded to do the following;
1.       Called 911. They transferred me to me to Animal Control….who never picked up. Bastards.
2.       Called our friend, Waldo, who lives in Nashville, Tennessee.  I’m not sure what I expected him to do remotely, but it doesn’t matter because he didn’t pick up.  Bastard.
3.       Cried.
4.       Hyperventilated.
5.       Googled and called some random Houston Animal Removal agency that told me they couldn’t come until 5pm. Shot the messenger.
6.       Hyperventilated.
7.       Got a broom and started whacking the poor little bird while uncontrollably screaming because I was so scared. The bird took it like a champ and continued to just sit on my window sill.
8.       Went outside, shoeless, and found a security guard working at the high rise next door.
9.        Invited (demanded) him to come into my home and help me.
10.   Watched him get the bird out of my home with his bare hand.
11.   Walked outside with him as he freed the bird. Hugged him. Shut the door behind him.
12.   Sobbed uncontrollably due to post traumatic stress.
13.   Poured myself a stiff drink as the clock struck noon.

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