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"M" as in "Megan"

I’m pretty sure the receptionist at my Doctor’s office thinks I’m an idiot. The unfortunate news is that she’s right. She simply needed me to verify the spelling of my last name. That shouldn’t be hard. However, I’m terrible at spelling, anything, with phonetic examples. You know what I mean? Like, V is in “Victor”. R as in “Roger.” I freeze up and can’t think of anything appropriate whenever I’m expected to participate in this type of banter.
DOCTOR’S OFFICE:  So that’s Silianoff Ma’am?
DOCTOR’S OFFICE: Can you go ahead and spell that for me ma’am, just to confirm.
MS. SILIANOFF:  Uh, sure.  S-I-L-I-A-N-O-F-F
DOCTOR’S OFFICE: Can you spell that again for me with phonetic examples Ma’am? Just to ensure accuracy?
MS. SILIANOFF: Oh man…. Okay… Yeah.
Uh….. S as in….…..Snakes.
I as in Ice Cream
L as in Lady Gaga…(now laughing) I don’t know why I said that. It’s just the first thing that popped in my head. Sorry! (still laughing)
DOCTOR’S OFFICE: It’s okay ma’am. Please continue.
MS. SILIANOFF  I as in Ice Cube….like the rapper!! Though in this instance I guess you don’t need a context.
DOCTOR’S OFFICE: No I don’t ma’am.
MS. SILIANOFF: A as in apocalypse. 
N as in Narly. Or is that start with a G? I’m so sorry. 
Um, O as in Octopus.
F as in For Sure!
F as in For Sure!
DOCTOR’S OFFICE: Wow… Okay Ms. Silianoff. We’ll see you next week.

And that’s why I’m switching doctors. Preferably to a practice where I can schedule appointments online.  And, while I’m switching, I might as well find a doctor with a generous policy on pain pill prescriptions. Not because of any of this – but just because it’s a nice characteristic for doctors to have.


  1. I just discovered your blog through The Bloggess and I think you're hilarious!!
    I'm new to Houston, like you, and it confuses me too!!

  2. Holy crap I almost snorted a pita chip through my nose in an effort not to laugh out loud hahaaa!

  3. OMG I am crying laughing at your post. My husband looked over at me because the taped SNL that we are watching isn't nearly as funny as this and he was looking at me all confused. I really needed that!!! I for ice cube!!! I can not believe the lady on the other end of the phone didnt pee her pants. I wouldnt have been able to continue!!! Thanks for posting.


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