The case is quite simple really. You see, this is our house.
Tragically, a person with an unknown identity crushed our gutter. (Documented below.)
More tragically, my husband had the audacity to suggest this heinous crime was committed by none other than myself. His case is centered around that fact that there is red paint on my car door handle. (Pictured below.) The same red paint that is on our garage, just inches away from the crushed gutter.
I told Danny that first and foremost, he is a dick. I then pointed out that in times of crisis, such as this,we should be sticking together - not turning on one another. Lastly, and most importantly, I reminded him that he has zero witnesses. I concluded my defense with the universally accepted truth, "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit."
Case Closed Bitch.