The first time I saw a cockroach in my Houston home I screamed and was personally offended. It was the size of a large bird. My midwestern background had raised me to believe that cockroaches thrive only in Manhattan or gross people's homes. Because I wasn't living in The Upper East Side, the latter was true. I was a gross person.
My neighbors and other Houstonians eventually convinced me that this was not the case. That bugs are just apart of a Houston lifestyle as are flash floods and Whataburger.
So last week when I saw a fruit fly on my counter near the fruit bowl I was ready to defend my home. Like a good Texas girl I got out my gun and fucking shot it!!!!!!! #JK Instead, I googled "how to get rid of fruit flies" as one does and DIY'd a lil death chamber per the video I found on you tube.
-You just fill a shot glass, wine glass, cup, whatever with apple cider vinegar.
-Cover it with saran wrap or a sandwich bag.
-Use rubber bands or toddler hair ties to make the seal tight.
-Poke small holes in the plastic.
The flies will fly in and die a long, potent smelling death.
The first day I killed like 10 fruit flies.
The next day 8 - give or take.
The next day, I had to explain to Michael, who works with me, that "the cup" on my counter wasn't urine as he assumed.
I found myself checking the chamber periodically throughout the days because
1. I work from home
2. it was exciting!
3. my life is sad
This weekend, however, is where the story climaxes. After being gone for a four day weekend, I came home to this.
*spacing is intentional in hopes of building suspense
Now I keep my produce in the fridge.
P.S. If anyone else has alternative suggestions for fruit fly genocide - feel free to leave in the comments section as this is a new interest of mine!
- FOLLOWING MEGAN ON SOCIAL MEDIA WILL MAKE YOU SKINNIER, RICHER, + PRETTIER-